In the world of performance, we are all aware of the benefits of feedback. Whether from managers, coaches, family or peers, feedback can help us gain insight into our performance, as well as outline a path forward. However, this often gets confused with validation.
Seeking feedback and seeking validation are two distinct approaches that individuals use to gain insight or affirmation from others, but they serve fundamentally different purposes and can have different impacts on personal and professional growth.
Seeking Feedback
Seeking feedback is a constructive process where an individual actively seeks out opinions, critiques, and suggestions with the intent of improving their skills, performance, or understanding. Feedback is often focused on specific tasks, behaviours, or areas of development, and it provides valuable information that can be used to make informed changes or enhancements. When seeking feedback, the individual is usually open to receiving both positive and negative comments, as the primary goal is to learn and grow.
For example, an athlete might seek feedback from their coach on their technique to identify areas for improvement. In a professional setting, an employee might ask for feedback from a supervisor on a recent project to understand what they did well and where they can improve. This type of inquiry demonstrates a growth mindset, where the individual values learning and is committed to continuous improvement. Feedback, when given and received effectively, can lead to meaningful progress and help individuals reach their full potential.
Seeking Validation
In contrast, seeking validation is the process of seeking approval or affirmation from others. When someone seeks validation, they are often looking for reassurance that their actions, decisions, or beliefs are correct or valued. The primary goal of seeking validation is to feel accepted, confident, or justified in one's choices. While validation can be important for building self-esteem and maintaining motivation, relying too heavily on external validation can be limiting.
For instance, an individual might seek validation by asking others if they agree with their opinion or by fishing for compliments after completing a task. Unlike feedback, which is open to constructive criticism, validation often seeks affirmation without room for critique. When validation is sought excessively, it can lead to a dependence on others' opinions for self-worth, which may stifle personal growth and the ability to make independent decisions.
The Impact on Growth
The key difference between seeking feedback and seeking validation lies in the mindset and outcome. Feedback is driven by a desire to improve and learn, even if it means confronting uncomfortable truths. It fosters resilience, adaptability, and a deeper understanding of oneself and one's work. Validation, on the other hand, is driven by a need for approval and can reinforce existing behaviours or beliefs without encouraging change or growth.
While validation has its place, particularly in building confidence and reinforcing positive behaviours, it is important to balance it with a willingness to seek and accept feedback. Relying solely on validation can lead to complacency and a reluctance to take risks or embrace challenges. In contrast, regularly seeking feedback promotes a cycle of continuous learning, enabling individuals to refine their skills, broaden their perspectives, and achieve long-term success.
While both seeking feedback and seeking validation involve seeking input from others, they serve different purposes and have different effects on personal and professional development.
Feedback encourages growth and improvement, while validation provides reassurance and confidence. To maximise growth and potential, individuals should prioritise seeking feedback while understanding the appropriate role of validation in maintaining self-esteem and motivation.
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